Friday, February 3, 2012

Suffering and Significance

On Quicksand of Feelings, I talked about how discouraged and frustrated I was about the low visitor count to A Rheumful of Tips - my year-long blogging project where I provide tips that have helped me move through thirty-four years of living life with rheumatoid arthritis.

I was suffering, because of the significance I attached to that blog. You can blame it partly on the ego ("I should be further along by now." "So and so's blog has X number of visitors and commentators.") and partly on falling into old patterns of behaviour (Comparatitis - measuring myself against others and falling short. Not keeping the porthole of perception as streak-free as I could).

Image courtesy of  Katherine Halliburton.

Things have significantly turned around. My readership has gone up, but not drastically. I still write those posts and publish them on a daily basis. The biggest change, however, is how I view that blog. I transformed my stress (soaking in negative thoughts and emotions trigger the stress response), and changed my perception, which provided me a better view.

When you practise techniques that smooth out your heart rate variability (HRV), your perception changes - gently and without a great deal of effort. That has made all the difference to me.

Writing for A Rheumful of Tips is no longer an onerous task; in fact, when I once thought I wouldn't have enough material for 365 tips, I now have ideas hitching rides on the backs of other ideas. I'm in the flow and since I love to swim, it's a great place to be!

How about you? Is it time to clean your porthole of perception? Can you recall an example where a perception change has made a difference in your life?

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2 comments:

  1. I wanted to comment on synchronicity but, you stole a march over me. I shall respond to your comment on my blog, but here, I just wanted to sleep over the topic before I commented.

    How about you? Is it time to clean your porthole of perception? Can you recall an example where a perception change has made a difference in your life?

    Yes, I did precisely that with my attitude towards my father. I went back to "I am okay, you are okay" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I%27m_OK,_You%27re_OK) and understood that I have to be the parent to the child that he has now become and structure my behaviour towards him in an appropriate way and it has worked. I had been using the Adult to Adult hitherto and it was not working. Now, all transactions are quite smooth. On the other hand, I have also had to stop the parent to child transactions with my son and shift to Adult to Adult transactions and there has been remarkable improvement in the communication between the two of us too.

    That book was a Bible to me during my Managerial days and it is a pity that I had forgotten its message since my retirement.

    I have learnt my lesson!

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  2. Ramana,
    I'm familiar with that book, but I haven't read it. I will now.

    Shifting significance - another one of those life lessons. It must be so satisfying to see a positive change in the way in which you communicate with your father and son.

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Welcome! I know your life is busy. That's why I appreciate your stopping by to comment.